I’m having 3 months off

I’ve been thinking about having time off for the last week or so + the only thing left to do, was to DECIDE.

I haven’t been well, for a long time.

Sometimes I think I’m getting better, but honestly, I’m not. Back in December, I was bedridden for a month. It took an additional 2 months to get back something of ‘normalcy’ being ABLE to work.

I took it slow and careful. Trying to be gentle with me. Allowing myself to set no alarm + sleep in, going for slow walks, allowing people to help me, reducing work hours.

Yet, still, anxiety, panic attacks, depression + chest pain.

I feel so worn down.

It’s like my body is under constant attack.

And the side-effect of all this?

I feel negative. Run down. Slow (like unproductive, brain fog, can’t put a sentence together). Unproductive (everything takes 2 – 4 x times longer than it used to.)

I haven’t felt positive in a long time. I have no new ideas, no inspiration. But what is much (much) worse is I have no SPARK. No light. No joy. JOY.

I haven’t experienced joy, felt joy, been joyful in the longest time (over 6 months long time).

And JOY is my word for 2018.

It’s lost and I’m lost.

 

I kept trying to find the answer.

Digging deeper, asking myself ‘’why is that Rebekah?’’

‘’What are you going to do about it, Rebekah?’’

Well, I can’t keep going.

Can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results.

The answer – ‘’have 3 months off’’. That has been on repeat in my head for a week.

‘’Have 3 months off’’

 

I’M HAVING 3 MONTHS OFF from my business.

Why 3 months?

I remember 3 years ago, I felt like having a ‘break’ or ‘holiday’ from my business. I decided on 2 weeks. At the end of 2 weeks? I still didn’t feel like coming back, so I didn’t.

2 weeks turned into a month.

A month turned into 3 months.

I did a teeny tiny bit of work (about 1 hour per week).

All I can figure is I must have needed that 3 months off.

While I say I’m having 3 months off, in 3 weeks’ time I might feel 10x times better and come back to work.

But, right now, I like the feel of 3 months.

A quarter of a year.

Winter.

The idea of that expanse of time.

Nothing in front of me but a world of potential + possibility of what I COULD do?

THAT feels exciting.

THAT feels beautiful.

THAT feels joyful.

And that right ^^^ there is a good enough reason.

 

In the last few months, our lives have changed.

It’s not dramatic or big or crap.

We have Hottie Boyfriend’s daughter, Miss 8 for 7 days on 7 days off.

And you know what?

It’s challenging.
It’s hard.

It’s different.

It is changing.

I’m not saying good or bad or otherwise.

But our life has changed. From a childless couple to having an 8yo.

I’m now a caregiver with my boyfriend + that is new to us. New in our world, new in our relationship.

It is okay that it is challenging + different.

Settling in a new routine and a new life/living AND finding JOY in that.

Joy in myself + joy in THAT.

Well, that is where I am, right now.

 

IT STARTS NEXT WEEK.

This week I’ll tidy up some work projects, do the GDPR stuff.

 

WHAT WILL I DO?

I’m excited to spend more time with Hottie Boyfriend.

• Gardening together (we are building a rainforest in suburbia)
• Cooking
• Laying in the winter sun in the middle of the day (instead of inside on the computer!)
• Journaling + writing
• Reading amazing books
• Maybe more volunteering
• Playing with baby quails!
• Watching movies + going to cinema
• Oh, yoga!
• Fishing and boating and being on the water with Hottie Boyfriend (more lying in the sun)
• Cuddling Hottie Boyfriend

 

WHAT ABOUT MY BUSINESS?

No, I’m not shutting down.

My business will run exactly the same.

I will be doing some work – customer service emails and bookkeeping (about 2 hours per week), live workshops that are scheduled in (about 1-2 hours per week).

I will tidy up some work projects THIS week, and automate some.

As some stuff so happen automatically when I’m not there (schedule email newsletters, podcasts, Pinterest in Tailwind, etc.).

Otherwise, my business operates the same. As usual.

Still making sales, daily.

Whether I’m there or not.

Because that is how I designed it to be.

So, to be fair, I’m having 3 months (mostly) off.

Working 3-4 hours per week, instead of 40 hours.

Less than 10% of my work.

(And those things doesn’t feel like work, they feel fun – yes I enjoy bookkeeping: P)

 

AND THE POSSIBILITY + potential that it opens up?

Well, that is LIMITLESS.

And THAT feels exciting 😛

 

LIVE WORKSHOPS

One of the few work things I will be doing is live workshop training.

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