It has been 12 months since retiring my boyfriend from his job.
We didn’t know IF it was going to ‘work out’…. Being together 24/7. All day, every day. Whether he would be bored, enjoy it, hate it.
I remember back when he was working. The weekend felt like such a ‘rush’ to fit anything + everything in. Fishing, family, fun, plus gardening, mow grass, wash clothes, grocery shopping, cooking, and preparing for the work week.
It was full on.
Trying to jam in a fishing trip, finding a pocket of good weather and to find (thousands) of others trying to do the same (imagine a ‘rush hour’ on the water. Yuck!)
Sunday lunchtime onwards would be designated couch time.
Trying to ‘rest’ and ‘relax’ in a small window of time.
In reality wishing + dreaming he didn’t go to work tomorrow. I called it the Sunday Sads.
Did you know most men kill themselves or have a heart attack between 5 pm Sunday + 9 am Monday?
He left at 6 am + I spent 15 minutes with him before he left.
He would go wiper snipping 8 hours a day. In Australian summer. 40 degrees Celsius. Extreme humidity. 2 hours travelling.
He would come home drenched in sweat + so exhausted he couldn’t talk for a while. He was a (nearly) 40-year-old labouring man, with a broken back (literally crushed vertebrae).
We spent 3 hours together in the evening when we were (both) at our most exhausted.
It didn’t make sense.
For 6+ months before retiring him we talking about it + planning to retire him…. It was decided April 2017.
How has it been since then?
Well, we wondered if he would get bored.
That hasn’t happened. He is a ‘’mini-projects’’ man.
Currently, the projects he has on the go…
- Just finished building 4th quail coop (yep, we have pet quails)
- Re-housing a native Australian beehive nest in our backyard (they are stingless)
- Grafting our lemon tree with oranges and mandarins
- Air-layering avocado and mango trees into our backyard
- Planting trees (he’s picturing a rainforest jungle in our suburban backyard)
- Just finished making handmade crab lures for bream fishing
- Prawning (we had a massive feed of fresh crumb prawn cutlets last night for dinner)
- Practice shooting his bow (+arrow) … yep, he’s hot like Robin Hood hot 😛
- In a couple of weeks building a backyard pagoda/Balinese hut thing
- Learning to play the didgeridoo (native Australian Aboriginal instrument) – he’s been hand making them and practising circle-breathing (non-stop playing without stopping)
Plus he does a lot of household stuff (cookies, wash clothes, pets, etc.) and I do computer work.
So, no. He isn’t bored.
Is better than ever.
To be fair, as good as it always was. It hasn’t affected our relationship, other than make it better.
We spend all day, every day, together.
He’s my best friend + he’s fun + I enjoy time with him. So it works.
IS LIFE BETTER?
Better for us? Yes.
So much of our valued include time together, being healthy and happy.
There is no more Sunday Sads.
It has meant feeling supported + balance, both individually and together.
And that THAT ^^^^ right there is the reason. MY WHY>
The reason I do my work.
For me. For us. For our relationship. For our lives together.
It’s not the ‘work’, it’s the WHY we do the work.
I do it for me.
I do it for him.
Because he is like coming home.
He is home.
A feeling of belonging. Acceptance. Love. Trust. Truth. Respect. Happiness. Gratitude.
All the good things I deserve.
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